They say that success in any area of life equals finding balance. In your relationships for instance, you need to be independent and keep doing your thing. You must make compromises; think not only about yourself, but also care about the other person.
In business, you need to start with passion and create a product that solves a problem your customers struggle with. But you also need to know how to get paid for it, as well as scale, and manage other people.
To reach your goals, you should be focused on the end vision and take consistent action in the right direction. But it’s easy to keep aiming higher every time. Thus, you’re never be satisfied with the result. So in this case, you should try finding balance between going after your goals AND being happy with what you already have. To appreciate it on a daily basis.
In writing, you should know when to keep writing. When the message is conveyed, you should stop adding words as it will only make it harder for the reader.
But there’s one other aspect of life that needs to be in harmony. It’s something we all face at some point, but which – sadly – most people can’t realize and simply overdo. I’m talking about two opposites – humility and confidence – and how we can easily lead astray and end up on the wrong side, even if our intentions were good.
Why We Need Both Humility and Confidence
Humility is this beautiful human trait that lets us be modest even though there’s a lot we can brag about. It’s about being humble in the face of achievements and success, accepting these but never losing the connection with your true self.
Confidence, on the other hand, is something we can see everywhere around us. Most of the time, it’s groundless. Things like social media, insecurities that end up turning people into individuals who feel superior than the rest, being surrounded by the wrong people, and more – all these make it hard to be positive about someone the moment you consider him confident. It’s just the world we live in.
But in its essence, confidence is a fantastic quality. To me, for instance – and to most men, I believe – it took years to get to where I am today. But I am now comfortable in my own skin (which lets me approach women of all kind and just start conversations).
I am okay with my weaknesses; I accept myself and my past. I am also positive about what’s to come and I constantly put time and effort into becoming a better person to succeed in life.
That’s the REAL face of confidence. It’s where you turn to self-knowledge, when you don’t listen to others and don’t allow society to dictate the norms and say how you should live. Where you don’t try to please others, or have this desire to pretend to be a better version of yourself.
No. It’s this type of self-esteem we should all be after. Because that’s where it’s easy not to lose the connection with your inner self, and where humility is still part of who you are.
As for those who take different paths and see the dark side of confidence, they rarely find pleasure in the daily round. They rarely even feel good about themselves; it’s just a mask they wear. That’s because they’ve let confidence turn into pride and vanity. These, as we know, are referred to as one of the deadly sins.
Now, let’s see how NOT to get to that state of mind and live such a miserable life. Here are steps to finding balance to fulfill our destiny.
The 3 Steps To Finding Balance
1) Stop and look around at every step of the way.
If only most people were doing that!
I didn’t learn it the hard way, and am truly grateful for that. But I did come to the realization that mindfulness is the way to go. To practice it, we should STOP (every day, hopefully) and simply look around while taking a deep breath, or a few.
This helps you find peace no matter what’s going on. It’s like taking a break from the haste, and slowing down for a while. Even doing only that will help let go of some of the pressure and clear your mind. Once you do, however, you’ll be able to do something more – to define your current situation in the most realistic way possible.
How is this helpful?
Well, for a start, if you’re getting way too confident in yourself, it will serve as a reality check. Sometimes, others around you might not feel comfortable telling you that. So there’s basically no feedback coming from anywhere. And because YOU are your biggest critic, but also supporter, it should be YOU.
The purpose of this mindfulness exercise is to open your eyes for the things you’re doing with your life. To make sure you’re still going in the right direction. That’s how you keep things under control, and eventually helps in finding balance.
2) Be careful who you spend time with.
Your environment shapes you. You might think you’re stronger than any other influence, but spend many hours daily in the wrong company, and you’ll become the average of them. It’s just inevitable.
It’s ONE thing to be surrounded by positive and successful people, who you can ask for advice and who’ll inspire you to persevere. But it’s completely another to be with those who do nothing. They are so confident in themselves that they expect things to be easy for them, for other people to treat them with respect, or else. You don’t need that, trust me.
I’ve been there, and got out of this on time. In case you have someone around you who’s way too proud and self-assured, make sure you don’t follow his steps. Finding balance requires finding the right company.
3) Go for the meaningful things.
There will be moments on your way to finding balance when you’ll need to make some serious choices, each of which will define the direction of your life.
It’s easy to start having doubts when facing such a decision. To begin over-thinking and stress over what can go wrong. But know that this is your mind playing tricks on you. Nothing’s happening until you say the final word and actually take action.
So, when making a choice, simply go for the essential. That’s a sure way to choose humility over pride, but to still go after your goals and accomplish big things.
What are the meaningful things? You’re the one who knows that best. But most of the time, these include:
- family, loved ones,
- the things you love doing,
- kindness, helping others,
- following the path that feels just right for you,
- taking care of your health,
- building better habits,
- doing work that matters,
- and being a student of life.
When friends ask you out for beer, and you know that can turn into a big night out that will cost you A LOT of money, a headache tomorrow, and being unproductive for the whole day after that (along with not really investing anything in the relationship with the boys as it will be meaningless conversations and drunken thoughts anyway), well, then it’s better to spend a quiet night with your partner OR meet a new person and be completely present.
That’s just one example about the choices we make in daily life that usually have two outcomes. Don’t make excuses, though. At any moment, you can be honest with yourself, define the meaningful thing, and consciously decide to focus on it.
Over to YOU now. Set aside some time today to think about humility and confidence in a way you haven’t considered before. Finding balance is all about awareness. You might also write down your thoughts. It really does help.
See what conclusions you come to, define your current situation in life, and maybe even set some goals on how to be more humble but determined at the same time.