Expert have often said that trust is the key to having and maintaining any successful relationship.And, relationships are the vehicles we use to connect and share our lives with each other. So, it stands that we need to be proficient at creating and nurturing trust as we associate and link our lives.
How to create more trust in your life
There are several critical points which can be covered under three learning categories which we must study in order to develop and put the skills required to establish ourselves as trustworthy into practice. Mastering these lessons will then allow us to build and shape relationships where trust is the rule and not the exception.
Be honest and share personal vulnerabilities
Building trust requires that we are willing to share our vulnerabilities. We are all (imperfect) humans. There are things that we do not do well. There are things that we fear. There are things that shake our confidence.
There are things that cause us to display our weaknesses. There are times when we are guarded because we are not sure the feelings we have for someone is shared. There are times when we shy away from sharing our goals and dreams for fear that they will be laughed at.
But, building confidence and trust with another person requires that we reveal our flaws, weaknesses and insecurities to them as well as share our desires and expectation, regardless of how we think they may react.
To do anything else would be less than honest and as our deficiencies, wants and needs begin to reveal themselves the other parties could be taken by surprise and be put-off. They may feel misled and lied to.
However, if we (ourselves) lay bare our faults and take steps to work on improving them, we will find that others are willing to work with us on our self-correction efforts. Also, they will feel confident in sharing their own faults or secrets because by being upfront about our own imperfections or weaknesses we have allowed them to feel comfortable, relaxed and open.
And, if a situation occurs that shows our susceptibility to some type of hurt or harm, they will not be blindsided. Instead, they will be prepared to comfort us or help us handle the event in an admirable manner. So, by exposing our own vulnerabilities we show ourselves worthy of their trust.
Being vulnerable demands honesty and if we are trustworthy the need to be forthright extends itself to all levels of our communications and interactions. Stay away from keeping secrets, hiding information or lying.
If we are trying to build effective relationships and the other parties find that we did not share information with them or what we shared was not true, we will damage the connection which could likely result in dissolving of any association – loss for friendship, loss of love.
Practice assertive communicating
When we interact or exchange information in a manner that is decisive and self-assured we put the receivers of our messages at ease and make them feel comfortable that things are being handled. This then builds an environment of strength, hope and belief which leads directly to the end result we seek – trust.Through the use of assertive communication skills we can share our position on different topics and subject matters without disregarding or breaching the opinions of others.
By being assertive in our communications we display respect for others as well as for ourselves. When the other parties get the message of respect, they are more likely to respond in-kind. They are also more likely to hear the message clearly, react empathetically, and feel connected. As such, there will be a sense that together we can work out or address any misunderstandings, problems or concerns that arise in a relationship.
This will provide a sense of relief, calm any fears as well as allow the other parties to be relaxed enough to willingly share and exchange information knowing that there is no fear of reprisal or attack. They will be rooted in an environment ruled by open sharing of ideas and the ability to effectively agree to disagree when necessary.
To communicate in any other manner will breed distrust, fear and worry or could even become abusive. These attributes are counteractive to building trust, or maintaining a productive and positive relationship. So, we should remain honest and forthright as we strive to communicate assertively.
Be consistent in words and deeds
Being trustworthy is not a one-time behavior, short-term event or intermittent activity. Being trustworthy is a full-time requirement that must be carried out for a lifetime – it is in fact a way of life.
To accomplish this we must be consistent in sharing our vulnerabilities, being honesty and practicing assertive communicating. We cannot be wishy-washy. We must chart a course to embody the attributes that leads to trust and practice them day in and day out.
Our behavior must reflect our words and the beliefs we say we espouse. The old saying, “actions speak louder than words” sums up how our behavior can result in making or breaking trust.
But, being consistent does not mean being routine, repetitive, or inflexible. Instead, being consistent mean ensuring our behavior is reflective of the important and essential factors which allow others to see our integrity in action. If our behavior consistently displays respect and is a demonstration of the characteristics that we have shared with others then we are on the right path.
But, if we say all the right things or behave in what we think is the right manner when some are around; and then when we think they are out of sight we take on a totally new persona that is contrary to what is expected, we are behaving in a fraudulent manner – we are behaving in a manner not worthy of trust.
Trust demands a few simple actions
Trust is essential to managing and advancing human relationships. Without trust, we will cut ourselves off from others because we will live in fear; always wondering if someone is out to get us. Likewise, if we do not act trustworthy, others will be less likely to want to develop and grow a friendship as they will always be skeptical of our motives.
Yet, building trust requires us to develop simple habits and engage in uncomplicated activities and perform acts that are not typically complex. Just be honest, act out of integrity, maintain consistent behavior and communicate in an assertive and positive manner.