Search for more Everyday Power
How to Win an Argument in 7 Steps
Some people are better communicators than others. But as any other skill, this can be learned over time. What’s more, you can even master the art of constantly winning by simply practicing enough and having a set of techniques. Who wouldn’t want to be able to handle conflicts at work, to persuade people, to have stable relationships, and to control the direction of every conversation? Well, you can do that. Here are 7 simple tips on how to win an argument.
1. Facts over feelings.
Lose your temper and you’ll lose the argument. Too often we let our feelings dictate our words and actions. Think about it and you’ll see that it always made you look weak in front of others, and you ended up regretting being emotional. So let’s change that.
The easiest way is to depend on facts. Prepare for important conversations. Behind every feeling, there’s a fact that provoked it. So try to state the obvious instead of reacting in some way. That will keep the argument going for a little more, but this is how to win an argument.
If you want to tell someone that what they did was wrong, don’t let them see how hurt or devastated you are. Instead, just describe the situation again from your point of view, letting them realize their mistake. Then, they’ll feel bad about it and understand why you were upset. This is how to win an argument.
2. Use confidence as a tool for winning.
Believing in yourself and your words can be felt from afar. No one will really argue with someone with low self-esteem who seems so insecure, that they can’t compose an argument.
So be the confident one. Practice it at home and when no one is watching. Talk to yourself in the mirror, use powerful words, the right diction, and a posture that radiates determination.
You can also practice being in public more often and approaching new people. Each time you do it, you beat shyness, feel more comfortable in your skin, and see what doesn’t work. Soon, you’ll have a killer way to communicate with anyone and win arguments.
3. Don’t try too hard.
Whenever you put too much pressure onto something, you look desperate. Others see that and it makes your argument weaker before you’ve even said anything.
Be calm instead. Breathe deeply before you see a conflict coming, repeat a few encouraging statements in your mind and just go with the flow.
4. Have a clear goal.
Behind every serious or casual conversation there are the goals of the people taking part in it. Get clear about yours. If it’s a situation at home, you’ll clearly want to avoid the conflict and negative feelings , so your goal is to make the other person feel like you agree with him or feel sorry. Keep that goal in mind all the time and don’t get distracted.
5. Ask the right questions.
That will let you stay in control of the situation. Whenever you ask something, the other person must answer in some way. That not only gives you time to think of your next tactic, but also gets his mind away from what you were talking about.
6. Leave some things behind.
Sometimes, your desire to always be right can blind your judgment. Because of that, or other things like perfectionism, doubts, big expectations, you may say something stupid, and then the argument won’t go your way anymore. Don’t let that happen.
Prepare mentally when a conflict arises. Be totally present, but also have facts from the past in mind. Be accurate, let anything you say make sense, but also confuse your opponent with questions or else all the time.
7. Hear the other side too and show understanding.
Even if you’re arguing with someone you despise, bring your understanding to the table in the beginning to calm them down so that things don’t escalate quickly. If you argue with someone you are in a relationship with, then you should let them share their point of view no matter how difficult the subject is, or how ridiculous their arguments may sound.
Don’t interrupt. Act like you understand and agree with every word they say. That may take a while, but you’ll win their trust in this way. While they are sharing their perspective, try to read between the lines. Try and understand what makes them see things this way. Comprehend their way of speaking and you’ll be making a stronger argument within minutes. Don’t react, just listen.
When they are done, that’s your chance to share your perspective. If what the other person just said was too emotional, the argument can be over before it even starts. But if not, continue by sharing the facts. Begin by telling them: “I know you felt threatened.” From then on, you’re in charge.
How to Win an Argument: Conclusion
So that’s how you can do things your way, affect other people’s opinion, and become a better communicator every time you do it. But know this, you’re slowly building up your strength confidence. So practice every day. If you win someones’ respect before any conflict occurs, there won’t be any need for arguments in the first place. This is how to win an argument the smooth way!