Search for more Everyday Power
For the past two years, I’ve been on a period of transformation. I quit a corporate job that was making me ill to work in flexible, part-time jobs with supportive managers. I went from being a non-runner to running half marathons.
I dug deep and searched my soul. I’m now moving towards a life I love and a lifestyle that works for me. But I had to make changes for this to happen. It didn’t just happen overnight. It wasn’t easy either, but important things always involve a certain element of challenge.
The common expressions you say everyday can impact your life
Along the way, I found there were three phrases or common expressions that kept popping up and that were the key to me moving forward. With them, I was stuck and held back. When I discarded them, I was free to move forward and create a life I loved.
So in no particular order, let me introduce these three common expressions:
Drop these three common expressions to change your life today
1.) “I can’t just…”
“I can’t just quit my job without something else lined up!”
“I can’t just walk away from my degree/masters!”
Think of all the times you started a sentence this way. It’s usually in response to something you’d like to do, but don’t think you can. Or something society tells you can’t. But the funny thing is, we can do anything we want!
It’s in our power to do anything we want. The “I can’t just…” phrase is just a way to convince yourself that what you want to do isn’t possible. You’ve tried, but… oh well!
I used to say this phrase many times, and I hear other people use it a lot, too. Some more common expressions are:
- “I can’t just quit my job!” (Yes, you can.)
- “I can’t just move to another country!” (Yes, you can, actually!)
- “I can’t just stop seeing people I don’t like!” (Again: yes, you can.)
Now I’m not saying these things are easy. But when you start telling yourself you can’t do something…well, the decision’s already been made in your head.
So what did I do instead? I challenged my “I can’t just…” thoughts. I played around with them. The result? I found I could do a lot more than I thought possible:
- Yes, I CAN work part-time while I figure out what I want out of life.
- Yes, I CAN book a one-way flight and move halfway across the world on my own.
- Yes, I CAN start a blog even if I don’t know exactly what I’m doing.
- Yes, I CAN spend more time with folks I love, and less time with people I don’t connect with.
So try challenging your “I can’t just…” thoughts.
What if you tried it? What if it worked?! How would your life be different if you went for all the things you wanted, instead of telling yourself you can’t have them?
2.) “I should…”
The word should technically means, “I don’t want to do this, but I feel I have to (or someone else is telling me I have to).” Think of the true meaning behind common expressions, such as:
- I’m not good enough.
- I did something wrong.
Not a great frame of mind for feeling good and going after the life you love! ‘Should’ is linked to what we feel we ought to do, rather than what our heart is telling us to do. When we listen to our heart, the real magic happens.
When we listen to what other people tell us to do… well, it’s certainly a lot harder to create a dream life that way!
My own “should’s” that were holding me back included:
- I should be happy with this job I’m in… at least I’m working.
- I should go to every event I’m asked to go to (or people might not invite me again).
- I should be happy, instead of constantly on a quest of growth and self-discovery.
But you know what? These beliefs weren’t helping me in any way. So I gave myself permission to stop the “should’s”. I don’t use that word at all now. Instead, I let myself feel what I want to feel. I do what I want to do (within reason, of course – I’m still respectful of other people).
See, it’s okay to want more out of life. It’s okay to say no to certain things, in order to have more energy for the things you do want to do. It’s okay to feel up or down, and to be on a path of lifelong learning and growth.
When I let myself be ME – instead of the person I felt I ought to be – suddenly, it was much easier to live the life I wanted.
3.) “I don’t have time to…”
Aha. The number one myth in the world! Take a look at these common expressions:
“There aren’t enough hours in the day.”
“I barely have time to breathe!”
I definitely used this expression in the past – A LOT. But the knowledge that YOU are in charge of your time is the number one tool that will help you create the life you love.
Now, I know what you’re thinking: I’m not in charge of my time – my boss is in charge of my time! Or your kids. Or your parents. Or anyone else you pretend has control.
But taking responsibility for my own time changed my life more than anything. First, I looked at how I spend my hours each day. Then, I asked myself if that is how I want to spend my time.
- Who chooses what time you get up?
- Who chooses whether you make a batch of dinners or if you cook every night?
- Who chooses how you spend your commute each day?
- Who chooses what you do every evening?
- Who chooses whether you have that conversation with your boss about working four days a week (…and who chooses how good your argument is?!)?
See, it’s all within OUR control. Yet we don’t realize the power we have with this precious commodity. So here’s a challenge for you:
Every day, for the next two weeks, write down how you spend each hour. Yes – every hour. You can summarize; don’t worry about listing every single thing you do. At the end of two weeks, look back and see how you spent your time.
Did you spend it on things you love? Or did you spend it on things other people wanted you to do?
Life is about compromise. When you realize you’re actually in the driving seat of your own life, it’s a lot easier to get moving in the direction you want.
So there we go – the three common expressions to kick out of your life. How would it affect you if you ditched these phrases? And are you willing to give it a go?