Search for more Everyday Power
Does it feel like you are floating around in a stormy sea and you can’t control the direction you are heading? It’s common to find yourself feeling scared and with no control in today’s hectic world. But you don’t need to feel like someone else is making the decisions and steering you to unknown places. You have the ability to make your own decisions. That is how you define empower.
If you want to define empowerment and live its definition, follow the three tips below.
Stop Allowing External Things to Define You
People will always criticize other people. But we can change the way we deal with it. You can either let it hurt you or you can use it to empower yourself. If you think about it, the way other people see you is not a reflection of who you are, but who they are. Therefore, if someone keeps telling you are too bossy or too quiet; don’t take it as a truth. You need to look inside of you and define yourself, define empower and join the two.
This doesn’t mean criticism is always bad or mistaken. In life, you need to be able to listen to what other people say. If you are criticized at work, don’t immediately reject what you are told. Treat feedback as a way to develop yourself further. You’ll either see the feedback is coming from the person’s own dark state of mind or you can learn from the experience, changing your own behavior or approach to things.
However, it isn’t just individual opinions that shouldn’t define you. As Jennifer Aniston wrote in her powerful open letter, you should ‘determine your own ‘happily ever after’ for yourself’. Society might expect you to get a car, to have 2 children, and work until you are 70. But you are the one in charge. If you want to ride a bicycle, skip having children, and retire at 40, then you can do so. It might require hard-work, difficult decisions and plenty of commitment, but you can’t let anyone define the course of your life, but yourself.
Take Responsibility of Your Actions
When things don’t go according to plan, it’s easy to start looking for someone to blame. If it’s not other people, it can be the economic climate or the housing market. But could it also be that the reason something failed is starting back at you in the mirror?
If you allow others to define you and decide on your life, you naturally feel compelled to blame others when things you were expecting don’t occur. But it’s rather empowering to start taking responsibility for your own actions and stop making excuses.
Failure is not the end of the world. It’s OK to admit you didn’t execute your plan properly and simply learn from the experience. It gives you a feeling of being in control, instead of helplessly floating around the world.
Put down the muffins and head down to the vegetable section at Costco. Don’t live from paycheck to paycheck, but look for ways to save at Frugaa. If you aren’t satisfied at work, start exploring your options and consider taking free courses at edX. Try working out at home, for that matter.
You have the power, if you acknowledge it. Anyhow, you are only wasting your time and energy looking for someone else to blame. It’s unlikely the world is going to apologize to you and say it didn’t mean any of it. You might as well spend your time going forward, instead of looking back.
Start Doing What Truly Inspires You
Knowing what makes us happy can often be the toughest challenge. You might think you are happy when you do this or when you buy this, but have you truly stopped to think if this is the case? Do you just think you are happy, when in reality; you’d be happier somewhere else, with someone else, or doing something different.
Stop. Think what is your passion. What are the things you’d love to accomplish? When do you feel the happiest? Write down your answers, create a list of things you’d love to achieve or which make you happy and start living. Don’t waste time on things you don’t find inspiring, but turn your energy to your passion. If you find yourself questioning your true passion or you hear yourself saying things like “What if” or “I can’t”, stop to think why. Why do you think it’s impossible?
Don’t let your fears stop you. It’s valuable to plan, to prepare and to self-reflect. You might just realize the fears you have are not as destabilizing as you thought. Define empowerment and go after it,.
Hopefully, the above gives you tips on how to stop feeling like you’re floating in an ocean. You can lead a more happy and fulfilling life, but often it means making peace with your toughest critic: yourself.