You may love this show simply because it is hilarious. You may relate to it on some level. You may perceive it as a humorous, but cautionary tale. Whatever the reason for watching – and perhaps without your even knowing it – these ladies occasionally drop some wit and wisdom on us that is not to be missed.
With that, I give you the best Orange is the New Black quotes from the show.
The Greatest Lines from Orange Is The New Black
1.) “All problems are boring until they’re your own.” – Red
2.) “No offence, but, uh, men being in charge has never done me any good.” – Pennsatucky
3.) “No. This year I’m loving someone who deserves me: Me.” – Suzanne
4.) “Sometimes people just don’t want to play with you. And that’s OK!” – Suzanne
5.) “You don’t go Jessica Simpson when you’ve got Rihanna.” – Morello
6.) “If you’re not building a future, it’s because you don’t believe there is a future.” –Vee
7.) “Yeah I said stupid twice, only to emphasize how stupid that is!” – Pennsatucky
8.) “It’s so disappointing being underestimated as you age.” – Irma
9.) On love: “It’s just chilling, you know? Kickin’ it with somebody, talking, making mad stupid jokes. And like, not even wanting to go to sleep ‘cuz then you might be without ’em for a moment and you don’t want that.” – Washington
10.) “I’m scared that I’m not myself and I’m scared that I am.” – Piper
11.) “Before I met you the sun was like a yellow grape. But now, it looks like fire in the sky. Why? Because you light a fire inside me!” – Suzanne
12.) “The second you’re perceived as weak, you already are.” – Red
13.) On winning a mock job fair: “This isn’t a contest. You do your best because that’s what you’re supposed to do. Why is it so hard for you people to understand? You’re like babies! “Where’s my present?” “Pay attention to me!” “Give me things!” “Fix the heat!” “Build a gym!” I’m not your goddamn mommy. Grow up! In acknowledgment of your hard work and success, an award of $10 will be added to your commissary fund. Enjoy.” – Natalie
14.) “I’m thankful for you girls who remind me every day that self-forgiveness is possible.” – Yoga Jones
15.) On getting the full story: “I mean, she told me how she traveled after college. But she failed to mention the lesbian lover who ran an international drug smuggling ring. Imagine my surprise.” – Larry
16.) “A lot of people are stupid and still live full, productive lives.” – Alaida
17.) Blanca on Love: “Diablo says there are no perfect couples but each couple is perfect in its own way.”
More Orange Is The New Black Quotes and Funny One-Liners
18.) On coming to reality: “I used to think you were a yellow dandelion, but you are all dried up with the puff blown off.” – Suzanne
19.) “You rage, I eat. We all have our way.” – Cindy
20.) “Leaving her like this, you’d think they’d have some humanness in them.” – Gloria
21.) “I forgave him. And you know what? It ain’t about him. I forgave him for me.” – Doggett
22.) “Look, I still got some time left here, but I’m getting out eventually, and it feels like it’s time to start focusing on that. Make sure I have a plan.”
23.) “Do you ever feel like a person without a country?” – Doggett
24.) On the voices in your head: “I know they’re not real, but it don’t mean they don’t have nothing to say.” – Lolly
25.) “Everyone wants to go back in time sometimes. To go back to the moment when everything was still possible, before they made a wrong turn, so that they could go on the right path. But it’s not possible. All we can do is make the most of right now.” – Healy
26.) “I don’t have rage. I’m just sad.” – Pennsatucky
27.) “It was fun for a while, but the fun just started to seem like everyone was covering up the empty feelings.” – Leanne
28.) “More often than not, people believe what you tell them.”
29.) “You take a woman’s power away. Her work, her family, her currency. You leave her with one coin…the one she was born with. It may be tawdry and demeaning, but if she has to, she will spend it. But you’re right, your feelings count, too.” – Red
30.) “I refuse to be invisible, Daddy. Not for you, not for Mom, not for anybody.” – Big Boo
31.) “Maybe this is exactly where I am supposed to be right now. Maybe this, right now, is making me a better person.” – Piper
33.) “Prison is not cool. Being here is not cool. It’s not brave or admirable or courageous, it’s stupid. I feel stupid for being in here.”- Soso
34.) “God. This is the loneliest place I’ve ever been and I lived in a tree for eight months.” – Soso
35.) “Did it ever occur to you that we don’t want to get in touch with our feelings? That feeling our feelings might make it impossible to survive in here?”
Which of these Orange Is The New Black quotes is your favorite?
While mixed with hilarity, there is humanity. I think that is what resonates with people so much about the show. I will never forget the finale with the hole in the fence, and the simple joy to briefly go in the lake, that for a moment they had freedom and humanity.
If nothing else, learn from them to be grateful for what you have, and that you truly can survive anything…hopefully, with a sense of humor.