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9 Ways to Say “F*ck it” and Grow Spiritually




Why Saying “F*ck It” Can be the most Spiritual Way to Live in our Truth

Often we live life from our head rather than our heart. We believe we have all the answers and therefore, we try so hard to hold on tight to all that we know. We are living our lives as if we are purely physical beings and leave no room to see the big picture of where our soul is trying to lead us. We work so hard to logically figure it all out. We worry about what happened in the past and what’s going to happen in the future. We worry about what others will think and we allow fear to take the lead. We are working so hard to get it all right that we neglect one thing.


We neglect our own individual truth.


As Jim Morrison states, “The most important kind of freedom is to be who you really are. You trade in your reality for a role. You trade in your sense for an act. You give up your ability to feel, and in exchange, put on a mask. There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.”


So how do we take back our freedom to experience who we really are?


If we are ready to open up and welcome in our divine truth, life will gift us with our divine storm. This storm may come in the form of undesired events or feelings of struggle and suffering. A divine storm can show up in countless ways, but what’s important is that we are paying attention. This storm is not just any storm. It’s powerful and filled with lightening to jolt us out of our sleep and into the awakening of our magnificent being. This divine storm will create discomfort, but the intention is to lead us to our truth and our freedom. Ultimately, the purpose of this storm is for our human self to meet our spiritual self.


This storm is a gift because it brings us to that moment where we surrender and finally say “fuck it” to everything and anything that has been keeping us from feeling connected to our truth.


Saying Fuck it is the most spiritual thing we can do because in that moment we are choosing to let go. Spirituality is not about learning anything or even believing in anything. It is simply about letting go of anything that keeps us from being who we came here to be.  We stop pretending to be someone we aren’t and we begin to take a stand for who we really are.



The following are 9 ways to say “fuck it” and let go of what isn’t serving our highest good so that we can live in alignment to what feels good to our soul.


Let Go of Limiting Beliefs

A belief is simply a thought you think over and over again. Take an inventory of what your beliefs are. How do they make you feel? Do they limit you and keep you feeling stuck or do they empower you and leave room for endless possibility? Let go of any beliefs that limit you from feeling empowered and on purpose.


Let Go of Blame

Let go of placing blame on anyone for you not being who you know you came here to be. This includes letting go of blaming yourself. The more we blame another, the more we rob ourselves of our own power. It’s easy to blame because it takes the responsibility off of us to create change. Change can only happen inside of us.



Let Go of the Need for Approval


Let go of doing anything to either prove to yourself you are worthy or to gain the approval of others. (This takes a healthy dose of honesty.) Doing anything to gain approval robs us of our authenticity and depletes our energy. Only do what feels right and true for you.


Let Go of Negative Emotions


Most of us are carrying around old hurts, resentments and disappointments from our past. We don’t even realize that we are doing this because we have been holding on to these emotions for so long. Begin to do the work of letting go of all the trapped emotion that you haven’t been willing to feel and surrender to actually feeling them. Set them free for good so you can allow joy to take the lead.


Let Go of Complaining


Complaining is simply making excuses for why nothing goes right. Be attentive to all the ways you make excuses. Complaining keeps you on a rollercoaster ride of victimhood. Make a commitment to let go of your excuses and commit to seeing all that is possible instead.


Let Go of Expectations


Let go of the expectations and opinions of others. Begin to see that the expectations’ of others is simply a reflection of their needs and aspirations and are not about whether we are good enough or not. When others have expectations of us it is because they are not paying attention to their own needs and desires. It keeps the focus off of them so that they don’t have to take responsibility for their lives. Stay in your lane and allow others to stay in theirs. It’s that simple.


Let Go of Your fears.


Letting go of fear doesn’t mean that we ignore or avoid them. It means that we stop running from them and face them. The more we face our fears and allow ourselves to move through them, the more we want to continue to challenge what we once thought was not possible. Moving towards our fear is a sign that we are fully living and moving towards our truth.


Let Go of your Unworthy and Undeserving Self.


You may have felt rejected or abandoned in your past and so you continue to believe in this story and carry it with you in your present experiences. You may believe that you are undeserving based on how you were treated in your past. The truth is you are whole and complete just as you are and you have always been worthy and deserving. It is our job to reclaim this within us. It was never gone, we just bought into the belief that it was.


Let go of Your Story


Your story is a culmination of all the beliefs that keep you in victimhood. They keep you blaming and complaining rather than taking full responsibility for your life. Do the work to identify the story that you have been carrying around with you. We all have a story because we are human. Our Ego loves to create stories that keep us in the comfort of what we have always known to be true. Taking our power back requires questioning this story and being willing to see what is keeping us disconnected from our truth.



Spirituality is about being and expressing love. When we neglect this part of us, we can’t possibly experience the truth of why we are here.  It is our job to say, “fuck it” to anything that stands in the way of setting our heart on fire and sharing our passion and purpose with the world.

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Can You Receive A Compliment Without It Getting To Your Head?



a compliment (1)

Receiving compliments gracefully isn’t as easy as it should be for some people. How about you: are YOU ready for someone to give you a pat on the back? To be pushed to doing more? To have someone give you a supporting hand? To be picked up when you fall down?

Sure, we may think that’s what we want. But is it what we need to develop, to grow, and to get better?

If someone complimented you on every little improvement you made while learning a new skill, would you not start to feel a bit marginalized? That perhaps they didn’t really think you could do it? What about when you do something that seems pretty easy and everyone made it into a big deal?


Receiving Compliments When You Are Not Ready For It

Why You Are Not Receiving Compliments

Developing new skills is never free of trouble. We all know the level of foundation that must be built to get from being a novice, before reaching greatness. In the learning process, we all know when we are in that frustrating stage of not being quite as good – but we know what we have to do to get there.

It’s in these moments that receiving compliments on your every action could minimize your efforts. That’s because if they truly knew you, people would be holding out for when you make that big, defining leap. 

As we overcome hurdles in our learning and development, friends, family members, and colleagues will know when the time is right to provide encouragement. They know that when that moment comes, those words will have the right amount of impact on you.

Think back to when you were growing up, playing some elaborate game. Perhaps you spent hours creating this game: building a fort, putting together things that the rest of your characters in the play could use. You pushed through despite the trials and problems.

It would have served absolutely no purpose for someone to congratulate you on every step (and misstep) along the way.  You would have lost your flow as you worked through the problem, constantly being interrupted – all while you were still trying to figure it out and understand where you needed to go.

Why You Are Not Receiving Compliments


When Receiving Compliments Makes You Content with Present Achievements

You might never have finished if someone patted you on the back early in that moment, content in the knowledge that you “thought up” the idea and that was enough. If everyone was saying you did great simply for thinking up something new, would it have compelled you to stop?

Maybe. Perhaps you would have stopped with that compliment.

As a parent, you learn when to encourage your children. Usually, it’s not when they show up, and not when they do what kids around them are able to do as well. It’s when they push themselves to do more. When they pick themselves up and still lose, when they try something new for the first time, fall over and fail, not sure if they should do it again.

Those are the moments when kids should be receiving compliments – NOT when they have done the same thing over and over again, or when they didn’t try their best but won anyways.

Kids know this. They can feel it when people give false compliments or encouragement because they did something they’ve always done. But when it is something meaningful, something they have worked hard for, they know the encouragement will be there to help them.

Why You Are Not Receiving Compliments

The reason you might not be receiving compliments or encouragement when you want to is because you haven’t earned them or don’t deserve them yet.

Maybe your coaches, leaders, parents, or other people who support you know you are not ready for it. Perhaps they need to see you making that next big leap in your growth and development.

Those compliments might not come today, tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year. But look at those around you – the great people you have chosen to surround yourself with – and you’ll see that they are waiting to give you that push. They are waiting for you to make it happen.

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3 Ways to Keep Going When Your Dream Falls Apart




when your dreams are falling apart (1)

I truly believe that dreams must extend beyond wishes of self-improvement; that its goal should be to contribute to the world around you.

The heart is a fickle thing. Imagine how many amazing things wouldn’t have been accomplished if great minds simply stopped when they “didn’t feel like it”.

It’s human nature. I’m sure that during the course of over 300 bank rejections, Walt Disney had days when he felt like giving up. But he didn’t. He kept going. Why? It was because his dream went far beyond himself.

Here’s how YOU can keep going – even if it feels like your dreams are falling apart.


3 Ways to Keep Going When Your Dream Falls Apart

1.) Remember The “Why”

Keep Going When Your Dream Falls Apart

Often times, I find that dreams extend far beyond the simple purpose of making one happy. For example, being a songwriter in and of itself does not make me feel happy and fulfilled. Imagine if my life’s work was to write songs that no one would ever hear. That doesn’t elicit any feelings of happiness or fulfillment (at least to me).

Seeing and hearing the healing effects that come from the songs I create for others to hear? Now you’re talking. Healing and helping others is the part of my dream that keeps it alive. It gives me purpose in this world that goes far beyond myself and my skills.

I’m reminded of the character Ebenezer Scrooge from Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”. Scrooge’s goal in life was to have money – and lots of it. He set aside love and relationships for that dream. The result of this life goal was a lonely, cold, bitter old man.

I won’t ruin the whole story for the very few of you that may not have heard it. In the end, Scrooge discovered that what brought him fulfillment and happiness were community and generosity.

So what is the “why” to your dream? How is your dream going to affect those around you? Get beyond yourself. As many have said, YOU are your biggest obstacle to success.


2.) Take Off The Rose-Colored Glasses

Keep Going When Your Dream Falls Apart

You know what I’m talking about. The “I’m going to make it big” and “I’m going to famous/rich/etc.” I hate to take a pointy realistic needle to your big ideas, but I’m doing it out of love. Here it is:

Your dream isn’t going to look exactly how you pictured it.

Take a minute to take that one in. Still here? Yes. Alive? Yes. Not Bleeding? No? Hurt a bit?

It’s OK. I know. I’ve been there. Dreams are vulnerable. We spend countless hours imagining what it would be like and how we will get there. But the truth is, in my experience, they have never turned out exactly how I have imagined. Why? We live in a world of people and circumstances that we can’t control.

Here is where the “why” comes in. The beautiful thing is that your works are a direct result of your heart’s intention…and what you put out into the world never comes back void. Here’s an example:

As a singer-songwriter, the common idea of making it big for my line of work is to have a hit song or perform in front of a sold-out crowd at Madison Square Garden (I’m more inclined towards Red Rock Amphitheatre, but you get the picture).

Let’s say that I work and strive tirelessly to do everything I need to do to reach that goal. I release a song, I tour around the US, develop a large following, get on the radio, etc. Along the way, I hear stories of how this song has impacted the people who have heard it. Stories describing how it brought healing, encouragement, and hope.

To go further, what if I never even make it that far? What if circumstances happen and I can’t tour? What if everything “falls apart”? What if I end up playing at open mics for the rest of my life? What if it doesn’t happen in the next year? Two years?

Does that change the fact that my song helped heal and open the heart of a broken and depressed Vietnam Vet? Or how it helped encourage an author to keep going and writing? Or how my song started a conversation on how to look past the labels overshadowing soldiers and their families?

It’s all about your perspective of success, my friend. To me, because my “why” and my heart’s intention are to help people, those stories above are my version of success. It’s what keeps me going. If I get to Madison Square Garden (or Red Rocks), well that’s just icing on top of the cake.

Keep going on your dream. Make a plan, and in the words of .38 Special, “Hold on loosely, but don’t let go.” Roll with the punches and understand that even greater things can come when things don’t go according to your plan.


3.) Make Your Dream Your Job

Keep Going When Your Dream Falls Apart

No, I don’t mean quit your job and have no income while you work on your dream. That’s an entirely different article (and completely up to you). I’m talking about treating your dream like it is your job.

For example, if you completely failed at a presentation at work, would you just quit and not go the next day? No! You have a livelihood and an expectation to show up. So why quit on your dream at the first sign of failure?

Treat your dream like your job. Make a plan, show up every day, and understand that it may take a while to see any results. I know many songwriters who wrote hundreds of songs before they wrote a hit. However, they never would have reached it if they didn’t take that first step, made a commitment, and wrote 100 songs first.

Dreams don’t just happen. They take work. So go get started!

My best advice under this theme is check out the book “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. It is by far the best resource I have discovered in my journey of living out my dream.

Here’s the deal. With every goal that I have set and achieved, I never sat at the end and thought to myself, “man, look at what I did”. Believe it or not, I was more overwhelmed with the thoughts of the journey that I had to take to get there – the good and the bad.

I would admire and laugh at the unexpected things that came. I would smile and enjoy the character it built, the person that I became in the process. In the end, the best thing about dreams and goals isn’t their achievement, but the journey that you take to get there.

Never forget that the dream in your heart was put there for a reason. You were made to make an impact on this world.

Enjoy the journey and never, ever give up. Keep going.

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