Science has proved that happiness is within our control and a choice we can all make. Science also supports the belief that we can alter the state of our lives by not only alerting our thinking but our attitudes as well.
Although happiness begins with ourselves and is birthed from within, many of us depend on external factors to create and determine our happiness as opposed to relying on ourselves. The reason some people are happier than others is because they make a concerted effort to be and depend on themselves to create their own happiness.
The following are things happy people never do that helps ensure their happiness:
1. Don’t seek other people’s approval or validation
Happy people tend to be more self-aware, self-assured and happy with and within themselves compared to people that aren’t. Happy people don’t concern themselves much with what others think of them or how they are perceived by other people.
Happy people are content being themselves and as a result are able to live life more authentically than those who allow others to define them or dictate who they should be. Happy people don’t allow others to determine their worth or make them feel less than.
2. Don’t compare themselves with others
Happy people embrace their individuality and are often comfortable in their own skin. They embrace the fact that we are all different for a reason and each have something unique to contribute to the world.
People who appear to be naturally happy don’t waste time trying to compete with others. They have made peace with the fact that they can’t be or do all things and that trying to be like someone else is futile. They understand that there will always be someone better at, more qualified, more educated, more successful and so on than them and are okay with that.
3. Don’t talk negatively about themselves
Happy people view themselves in a positive light and engage in positive self-talk. They are often their own biggest cheerleader and like to surround themselves with people who make them feel good about themselves. Happy people don’t berate themselves or constantly talk about the things they don’t like about themselves instead; they focus on celebrating their strengths and invest time in changing the things they can about themselves.
4. Don’t wallow in self-pity
Developing a victim’s mentality when things don’t work out in our favor is extremely easy. Happy people refuse to view themselves as victims when life throws them curve balls or they encounter injustices. They often have the ability of turning their “messes” into messages and using them as catalysts for self-improvement and change.
Happy people don’t allow setbacks or misfortunes to hold them back and often bounce back from them stronger and more determined no matter how defended or demoralized they might feel.
5. Don’t depend on others for their happiness
Happy people know that true and lasting happiness only comes from and can be found within and can never be derived from things or people. Although people can influence our moods and dispositions we can’t always count on them for our happiness neither should we depend on them to make us happy.
Happy people don’t make others responsible for their joy because they know that such a burden should only be placed on themselves and that they are the only person they can consistently count on to influence and determine their outlook on life and how they feel about themselves.
6. They don’t allow themselves to become bitter
Naturally happy people don’t hold onto grudges and offer let petty offenses roll off them like water off a duck’s back. While others are often stewing in anger and bitterness, happy people often take the high road of forgives and don’t allow themselves to get pulled into any unnecessary negativity or drama as they choose to direct their energy elsewhere.
Happy people don’t struggle with forgiving themselves either; they don’t allow their past mistakes or poor decisions and choices to define them but instead use them to become more self-aware and better individuals.
7. They don’t take themselves too seriously
Happy people are naturally happy-go-lucky as well. They don’t take themselves too seriously; they are able to laugh at their own expense, know how to make light of situations that would bring most people down and have the ability of finding the silver lining in the worst of circumstances.
They know that what doesn’t kill us definitely makes us stronger and that there is a lesson to be garnered from every loss, misfortune or setback. No matter what is going on in their lives, happy people continue to count their blessings because they understand that things could be worse.
8. They don’t allow themselves to become slaves to their pasts
Happy people don’t focus on the rearview mirror of their lives because they believe that what lies ahead of them is better than anything they left behind. They allow themselves to embrace change and new opportunities because they understand that life is progressive and that doing the same thing only offers the same result.
Happy people don’t allow past failures, disappointments and personal hurts keep them from forging forward with their lives. They understand that in relinquishing their control to the past and giving it power over them, they are allowing their past to poison their future and keep them stuck in the very position they wish to and need to move away from.
9. They don’t hold onto things that make them unhappy
The reason genuinely happy people are happy is because they surround themselves with people and things that make them happy and don’t have a problem letting go of those that don’t. Happy people are comfortable dancing to the beat of their own drum and have no problem making their own rules even if other people disagree with them.
The happiest people are those who do the things they love, work at jobs they are passionate about and pursue callings that resonate with them. Happy people don’t allow things they don’t naturally connect with to take up precedence in their lives.
10. They don’t put themselves last
Although happy people are often the nicest and kindest people you will ever meet, they don’t believe in martyrdom, always putting themselves last and sacrificing their own happiness just for the sake of sacrificing it. Happy people are happy because they make themselves as much as a priority as all the other important things in their lives because they understand that their happiness is just as significant and when they are at their best and happiest they are able to give freely to others and be of better service to them.
One of the biggest differences between happy and unhappy people is that happy people don’t deny themselves things that are good for their overall well-being and allow themselves to enjoy life and the beautiful things it presents. They make self-care a priority, maintain healthy life-work balance and often allow themselves to play just as hard as they work.
It’s clear to see that by making a few adjustments in our lives and way of thinking, we all have the ability to create and control our own happiness and that happiness isn’t out of reach for anyone determined to embrace it.