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10 things unhappy people will not admit



things unhappy people will not admit

We all know an unhappy person in our lives.  We work with them, share a morning commute with them, we might even be married to them!  Whomever this person is to you, they can often be a mystery.  From the outside, they seem to have everything going for them.  Yet, that black cloud will not leave – it seems to follow them everywhere.


If you have ever wished to crawl inside their mind and get a secret glimpse into WHY they are the way they are, individual possibilities would be limitless.  Every person’s story is different.  But there might be some themes that pop up as you start to compare the unhappy people around you.  Take a look at our list and see if any of these ring true.  They might provide you with some insight as to why they are the way they are.


10. Their Behavior Makes Them Feel Ashamed

I’ve actually apologized to some people I was a real jerk to, because I feel ashamed. I didn’t need to be that hungry. There was something going on inside me when I was angry and feeling very threatened and not feeling good about myself. – Howard Stern


Unhappy people might be going through a period in their life where they are being hypercritical of themselves.  They might have set a goal for themselves that was too lofty, and in their failure they blame themselves.  Shame isn’t something easy for anyone to admit.  If they lash out and are generally unhappy, don’t feel it’s something you did that caused it.  They could be wrapped up in their own behavior and their own shame at not performing at the level they expected.


9.  You Make Them Feel Inadequate

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our Light, not our Darkness, that most frightens us. – Marianne Williamson


This is a tough one and can cause problems for many unhappy people.  Feelings of Inadequacy go back to how we see ourselves and what we expected out of ourselves.  And being around you when you’re looking great can spark that feeling in the unhappy person.  Just being around you as you are being you can make a depressed person feel worse.


Ever notice that some of the unhappy people make a habit out of avoiding hanging out with you?  It’s not you!  You don’t smell!  They are overcome with feeling inadequate when they compare themselves to you.  You get them to thinking about their inner power because they see your power.  Whether that be simple confidence, a skill you exhibit in your day job, a favorite hobby of yours, others perceive that as power.  And the fear of knowing the same power is inside them, but under-utilized, is something they will never admit.


8. They Make Excuses To Avoid Situations

Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses. – George Washington Carver



Truly unhappy people are usually making excuses for one thing or another.  Some are good at it, while others are not.  But unhappy people are not going to admit why they are giving you an excuse.  Some might only try to get out of big things: a company event, a rather large project at work.  But some start to create excuses for even the smallest things.  Why is that?


For some, the weight of responsibility compounds with each task on their to-do list.  After a while, the normal day to day weighs on them and even asking for one more small thing can seem overwhelming from their perspective.  With a low self-esteem thrown in, their feelings of inadequacy can make an easy task too much for them to handle.  Then out come the excuses.  It might be easy to catch them when they do it, but they will rarely admit why.


7. They Self-Sabotage Their Efforts

I don’t want to completely self-sabotage everything that I’ve got and alienate everyone. But I definitely want to take some chances as I always have. – Katy Perry


Taking a look at what we’ve discussed so far can create a situation where the unhappy person desperately wants to get out from under the unhappy cloud following them around.  So they want to take a risk at something new, something that could change their direction.  We would think that’s good until a few days or weeks later when the new effort and new attitude come crashing down.  We wonder what happened because, from our perspective, they seemed to have it in the bag!


Self-sabotage is hard to admit, mostly because some unhappy people don’t even realize they are doing it.  They want to get that college education, then pick a major so difficult it requires all their energy.  Suddenly, they throw in a part-time job, volunteer work and joining some campus clubs which is way more than anyone would consider taking on.  They get so caught up in wanting to turn things around, they don’t moderate and when grades come out, things are so bleak they give up.


Some will not admit it, but they repeat this cycle to keep themselves from succeeding at the goal they have set to prove to others who cheered them on that it couldn’t be done.  It seems a twisted form of rebellion almost.


6. They Knowingly Lie

‘Pathological liar’ is absolutely the toughest individual to deal with as a psychiatrist. Because you can’t take anything they say at face value. And you can’t, you know, fill in their personality. You don’t know what’s real and what’s not. – Dale Archer


Maybe you have encountered the unhappy person who is known to lie.  If someone came to mind, then they’re not too crafty at lying, otherwise you wouldn’t know that they are prone to doing this. But do they know that they are lying?


Some don’t, but many do.  And it can go beyond creating an excuse to get out of the responsibility of doing something they feel unable to do.  They start to recreate the narrative about themselves, their past, their abilities.  For some in true pain, weaving any alternative reality is better than facing the truth about themselves.  And telling you whatever you want to hear to get you out of their hair is worth being found out later as a liar.


It’s always easier to beg for forgiveness than to ask for permission, although your unhappy person won’t freely admit to that.


5. They Hate To  Admit Their feelings

No one really wants to admit they are lonely, and it is never really addressed very much between friends and family. But I have felt lonely many times in my life. – Bill Murray


It won’t be an easy time just confronting this unhappy person about their little black cloud, either.  It seems the only feeling they are comfortable with are the unhappy feelings, but even those are ones the unhappy person doesn’t want to talk about.


For some, any feeling is bad because emotion is a form of weakness.  Maybe they experienced someone in their lives who took advantage of them when they were emotional, so now they keep their feelings guarded.  They truly might not understand their own feelings, so they push everything down to keep it from clouding their mind.  Whatever the reason, understand that the feelings are there, and are intense, but they are not going to open up like an after school special and spill their guts about it.


4. They Rarely Trust Anyone

It takes years for me to trust; I know that about myself. A lot of it is because I am so private, and so reluctant to make myself vulnerable. – Michelle Pfeiffer


Trust is hard earned no matter how happy or unhappy you are.  It’s a fact of life.  But for unhappy people, it might be off the table completely.  Being invalidated or rejected at an early age might have taught them to never trust anyone.


But when one decides that, the gloomy disposition can move in permanently.  Again, if you have this person in your life, it’s probably not because of who you are.  The vulnerable person hiding under that stormy cloud is closing themselves off for protection.


3. Even Your Simple Happy Stories Make Them Jealous

Part of being a man is learning to take responsibility for your successes and for your failures. You can’t go blaming others or being jealous. Seeing somebody else’s success as your failure is a cancerous way to live.    – Kevin Bacon


Sometimes, the unhappy person takes the form of your best friend and you might not even know it.  And you enjoy your lunch with them because you got to share the good news with them about what happened that morning.  But for weeks after, they are ‘too busy’ and distant and just not giving off a happy vibe.  What happened?


When it’s uncomfortable to take on the responsibility of one’s own actions, the unhappy person can tend to get jealous and blame other circumstances when it comes to seeing someone have something they wanted.  If they can shift that responsibility off of themselves, they create a victim mentality that allows them to be jealous while not being able to remedy the situation.


2. They Play Games

We want everybody to act like adults, quit playing games, realize that it’s not just my way or the highway.    – Barack Obama


When we reach adulthood, we hope for the mind games to be over.  As the years go by, our life experiences show us that nothing could be further from the truth.  Everywhere you go, someone’s trying to play some sort of mind game.  And the unhappy person will never admit how much they love to do it to other people.  For some, it might be the one thing that secretly makes them happy!


Getting away with things, manipulating you into thinking or feeling a certain way, or turning the tables on you are just a few of the endless ways unhappy people play their games.  It’s not a given, but many do it and do it rather well.  They can leave you feeling drained even after a simple conversation with them.  And it’s their way of giving you part of their dark cloud of unhappiness.


1. They Like Being Miserable

Most people would rather be certain they’re miserable, than risk being happy. – Robert Anthony


The number one thing unhappy people will not admit to will be that many really do like being miserable.  They won’t say it in so many words, but after being in that state for so long, it becomes their ‘normal’.  If their baseline throughout any given day is to be unhappy, then that is the normal that they come to expect out of every day.  And we all know how people like the feeling of control when it comes to knowing what to expect each and every day.


We like our routines.  Being an unhappy person can be just as much a routine as pouring your morning coffee.  If they were suddenly to be free from that definition of ‘victim’, they might not know how to step into the role of ‘victor’.  For some who have had challenges their entires lives, being happy is so foreign they will consciously and unconsciously avoid it.  It’s so different it must not be right.  They will take the other 9 steps, especially self-sabotage, to prevent happiness from coming to them.



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Self Improvement

Couple Entrepreneurs: How to Make It Happen With Your Partner



Partners entrepreneurs


Have you always dreamed of having success as an entrepreneur? Thoughts of working for yourself, doing things you’re passionate about, and not worrying about working for someone else may linger in your mind most of the time. If you’re married, there is a chance that your partner has some of the same goals, and that means the two of you could eventually become a pair of successful entrepreneurs who motivate one another, continually work hard, and reach all kinds of goals that will get you both further in life.


How to Make It Work


Although you may like the idea of becoming a successful entrepreneur while your partner does the same, it’s not uncommon to have some concerns about the situation. You may worry that you’re both going to take on too much and not have enough time for one another, but that isn’t always the case. It’s all about prioritizing work, setting a schedule, and being there to support one another through the ups and downs that will eventually occur.


Before working together to achieve goals, sit down and have a full conversation about the goals you’d like to achieve and the role you’ll each take on. Both of you will need to come to an agreement to keep work and the relationship separately while being respectful to one another. You can’t expect to have success with your partner if neither of you are respecting one another or collectively sharing ideas. You’ll need to focus on communication and compromising at times to make things work on a long-term basis.


Prime Examples of Successful Entrepreneur Couples


If you’re in need of motivation and encouragement because you’re not sure how to get your start in a specific industry with your partner, it may be best for you to learn a bit more about some of the successful entrepreneur couples out there. These couples work hard to achieve their goals and they support one another in various business ventures. They put forth the effort that is required of them to consistently achieve their goals.


Chris Sacca is a successful billionaire who once was fired from a job as a lawyer and then moved on to Google where had more opportunities to learn, invest, and become the success he is today. He is now the owner of a successful venture capital fund, known as Lowercase Capital. Although he’s had much success in his career, Chris Sacca’s wife, Crystal English Sacca, is a successful entrepreneur in her own right. She’s spent most of her career creating compelling and engaging commercials as well as digital advertisements for various companies. She’s worked for several of the most popular brands, including Sprint and HBO. In addition to these accomplishments, she works as an art director. While these two individuals aren’t doing the same things, they’re a married couple supporting one another while they each work hard to achieve their own personal goals.


In addition to Chris Sacca and his wife, Stewart and Lynda Resnick are another good example of a successful entrepreneur power couple. They currently have a net worth of 3.9 billion dollars. So, what is it that they’re selling? There is a good chance you’ve consumed at least one of the many products they own and distribute, such as Fiji Water or Halos oranges. The pair met when Lynda started her own ad agency and was assisting Stewart with a project for the business he was running at that time. Over time, they started working collectively together to invest and sell assorted products to the public, many of which are naturally good for human consumption.


Do What You Love and Respect One Another


There are plenty of entrepreneur couples out there. Some are just getting started while others have been in business for decades and continue to achieve a high level of success. Although you may be focused on figuring out your passion and what you want to do to get further in life while making a decent income, it’s important to understand that it’s possible for you to achieve the same level of success as some of these people who are earning millions of dollars each year. Most people don’t become a success overnight but figuring out what you want to do and how you’re going to make it happen is a great way to get started.


In addition to figuring out what you’d love to do for the rest of your life, you’ll need to remember to always respect your partner throughout the process. The thing about these successful couples is that they’re willing to provide support and guidance, they know how to communicate, and they believe in one another. If you don’t have respect, trust, and support in the relationship, it’s going to be difficult to have success as entrepreneurs together.


If you’ve always dreamed of running your own business with your partner by your side, it’s not a dream that is too farfetched. In fact, there are lots of successful couples that are working hard, reaching goals, and living the life they’ve always dreamed of having.

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Self Improvement

How Does Sleep Affect Your Mental Health?



Sleep and Mental Health

Sleep is our body’s repair mode. Our cells, tissues, muscles, and hormones are all replenished during the deepest phases of sleep. This ensures that we are operating at our best the next day.

Experts recommend about seven (7) hours of sleep a day for an average adult. This is keeps you mentally and physically focused. But what happens when you don’t get enough? Is there a link between sleep and our mental health?


The Link Between Sleep and Mood

Even someone who isn’t an expert on the subject can appreciate how active they feel after a good night’s sleep. In contrast, one can feel exhausted, irritated, and distracted after not getting enough the night before. That’s because sleep plays an important role in your mood and performance.

Researchers from the University of Pennsylvania conducted a study in which the subjects were restricted sleep to only 4.5 hours each night. After a week, the subjects reported greater levels of negative emotions and mental tiredness. Once they were allowed to sleep normally however, there was a sharp improvement in their mood.

Just as sleep impacts your mood, your present state of mind also has an equivalent effect on the quality of your sleep. If you’re anxious or stressed, your body will release hormones that force you to stay awake through the night, depriving you of much-needed rest. The result is a cycle of stress and lack of sleep.

Research suggests that around 15-20 percent of people who are dealing with insomnia (an inability to fall asleep) go on to develop serious mental depression. While research is still being conducted about the exact nature of the relationship between sleep and depression, there has been enough progress to indicate a strong correlation between the two.

People who suffer from insomnia are at a significantly greater risk to develop depression or anxiety. In fact, the onset of these conditions can be accurately predicted by studying the patient’s sleep patterns.


The Link Between Sleep and Learning

In addition to your mood, sleep also appears to impact your mind’s ability to learn. Three separate processes govern learning in your brain: acquisition, consolidation, and recall.

Acquisition entails receiving information and storing it in your neural circuitry. The second process, consolidation, strengthens the neural connections in your mind so that the memory is stored in an optimally useful form. Recall is when the brain accesses this stored memory when it is needed.

Poor sleep compromises all three of these processes. However, it is acquisition and recall that are most affected by sleep deprivation. Recent research has also demonstrated that a lack of sleep can reduce the brain’s ability to consolidate information it is presented with.

Students take note: inadequate sleep may negatively affect your chances of passing that exam. Indeed, you may even find yourself forgetting how to do simple tasks. If you’ve ever been involved in back-to-back all-nighters during exam week, you may already have experienced forgetting a solution to a simple problem – even after you’d done it half a dozen times!


Dealing with Sleep Problems To Improve Mental Health

If you’re experiencing emotional apathy, anxiety, depression, or irritability, one of the steps you can take before seeking a professional is to assess your sleep situation.

Treat sleep as a ritual. Similar to reading to a child before putting them to bed, a habit that helps one disconnect from gadgets and put their mind in a relaxed mood can go a long way towards ensuring a restful, wholesome, sleep experience.

Making time before going to bed is a good idea. Avoid exposure to bright lights (such as those emitted by computer screens and smartphones). Try not to consume caffeine or alcohol, as all of these can be detrimental to the quality of sleep (and may even prevent the onset of sleep completely).

Obviously, the way you’ve set up your bed (and your entire bedroom) will also play an important role in how well you’re able to sleep. For example, memory foam mattresses are often recommended for individuals who sleep in awkward postures that can cause back pain. For some good reviews, check out The Sleep Judge.

If you can’t get rid of thoughts buzzing around in your head, you may want to listen to some natural background sounds, such as rainfall or wind rushing through trees. This will ease your mind away from distractions, helping you drift off to sleep. If you get the recommended amount, see how replenished you feel the next day!


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