It happens to people all the time. In fact, 6 out of 10 couples will tell you they’ve fallen into a rut at some point in their relationship. Between kids, work and daily obligations you sometimes feel like you’re living Groundhog Day every day. Life’s demands leave you exhausted and your relationship can end up on the backburner. If your evenings together involve iPads and discussing household chores, maybe it’s time to “spring clean” your relationship and start the new season with a fresh outlook and renewed focus on each other. Here are some top tips to inject the spark back in your relationship:
Put a Fresh Spark Back in Your Relationship
Show your appreciation
Maybe you think your partner is an incredible mother, selfless friend, and gorgeous beauty but does she know that? Does he know that you appreciate when he takes over the kids when he walks in the door from work, takes out the garbage every single time and lets you hold the remote control? Take the time to each other, from the smallest of tasks, like loading the dishwasher, to the bigger things, like how proud you are that he always strives to do the right thing.
Try a new activity together
Take a dance or try a social painting class with vino. This will give you time to talk and enjoy each other’s company. Grab another couple and go bowling or take a cooking class. A new activity will change up the usual, make for better conversation, and you’ll see each other differently. Hanging out with another couple allows you to view your partner from a different perspective and gives you a chance to tell your favorite stories together.
Chase the adrenaline
Studies say that heart-pumping, energizing experiences bring about a deeper romantic connection. Whether that’s a marathon, haunted house, skydiving together, parasailing or seeking out the world’s highest roller coaster, so go ahead and pursue the thrill together. The endorphins will draw you closer together!
Talk. Really talk without a cell phone or laptop between you. Talk without distractions, funny videos, texts or Instagram. Force yourselves to enjoy each other’s uninvolved company once in a while.
Recreate important memories
Recreate your first date at that movie theater all those years ago or visit the place where you told each other how much you loved the other for the first time. Recreating those memories will ignite the old feelings and may trigger the enthusiasm of the early days.
Share your dreams
Share your deepest desires, hopes and wishes for the future. This is something you most likely did early on in your relationship but something that goes to the wayside as real like takes over. Include each other in those dreams so you can discuss how you will get there together and support each other along the way.
Make time for each other
By the time Friday night rolls around, tired couples find that“Netflix and chill” actually means Netflix and chill (which can lead to falling asleep sitting up on the sofa). If trying to get in a date night is to exhausting to even plan, think about a Saturday morning breakfast date or be a little crazy and take a few hours of vacation time from work to spend time together. Just make a point of making time for each other so you’re showing your mate how important they still are to you.
Mix it up… in bed
I know, this sounds like that game kids play where they add “in bed” to the end of a fortune cookie fortune. But try it! Ask each other what your fantasies are, what you would like to try, and go for it.
Assess how you’ve grown
This is actually a great conversation starter together over a nice, romantic dinner (whether that dinner is at home when the kids are in bed or at a nice restaurant). Talk about your life together, what changes have occurred since your first kiss, how they’ve brought you together or how they’ve made it a challenge sometimes. The conversation may have some tough points but that’s ok. It’s important to understand that change is bound to happen to everyone. Everyone changes and grows over time. Just make sure you and your mate understand that change happens and that you’re evolving together.
It’s Not All Butterflies & Rainbows
Not trying to burst your bubble, but starry-eyed infatuation and tummy butterflies aren’t typically sustainable and don’t equate to a solid, lasting relationship. Mature, deep love intertwined with your life experiences together are. If you can see the genuine beauty, strength and grace in one another after years as a couple, it means a whole lot more than butterflies.