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How Personal Satisfaction Transcends Money, Fame and Love



How Personal Satisfaction Transcends Money, Fame and Love

Yes, there are other “motives” for humans other than money, fame and love. However, for so many people, they strive to make millions – with the ultimate goal of having lots of money to enjoy. They often dream of traveling and not working but having more than enough money to spend whenever and wherever.

How Personal Satisfaction Transcends Money, Fame and Love

There are others who strive for more money through hard work and promotions, winning a huge jackpot from this lottery game or another, or achieving that pot of gold from some great investments.  Again, their ultimate goal is to eliminate the need to work a 9-5 job.


Still others strive for fame.

They want to be the next best singer, actor or sports figure. They want to see their name in lights on large marques, on the label of the album of the year and/or the New York best seller of the year, or having their picture the feature of the Jumbotron boards at the sports stadium of their choice.


And yes, there are those who do whatever, whenever and wherever they can for love which is sometimes reciprocated and other times not. They strive for acceptance by doing things they would not otherwise do. They also give up things they want in order to give the love of their life what they want.


But are these the only motivations people have to make their lives happy?

Are there other reasons people do what they do? Should there be other reasons? Perhaps there are more selfish reasons or perhaps even more important, some less selfish reasons to do what we do!


For me, I pray that my motivations are not selfish.

While making money is necessary to pay for everyday living expenses such as a place to live (rent or mortgage payments) along with the companion utility bills (gas, electric and water expenses). And yes we all rely on a telephone and transportation costs in our lives too. But how much more do we need? Do we strive for thousands or even millions in a savings account, in investments that yield dividends? How much do we want? Do we need our everyday living space, a vacation get-away home and perhaps even a cabin in the woods for a break from the rat-race? How much is enough? Is there such as thing as too much?


In self-reflection on this topic, I find that my primary motivations have been the sense of accomplishment and one ofhaving a specific purpose for whatever it is I do.

Being able to say, “I did it!” has carried me through many tough challenges with the thought that I can do it again and again. Sometimes this has included my dream to write a book. Other times it has meant beating a bout of cancer. The challenge has been different but the hopes and dreams of accomplishment has been the same.


As a child, I dreamed of writing a book of poetry.

It took decades before that dream was realized. Some family, friends and even medical personnel often encouraged me to write my autobiographical story of surviving multiple bouts of cancer. I worried no one would want to read about cancer, cancer and more cancer.  However, in 2011, the dream of writing a book became a reality. No, it wasn’t the wished-for book of poems but it was autobiographical and I did include a few poems too. Since that door opened to being a published author, other books have followed – another autobiographical books about multiple, crazy childhood injuries as well as some books for kids. While the books I have written have sold, the best part of becoming a published author is seeing my name on the cover of each book. It feeds my soul to say, “I did it!” That has been very satisfying to me. It also encourages me to write more.


The feedback I receive from those who have read the books also feeds into my sense of accomplishment.

I can sit back and say, “I’ve touched their lives,” or other similar comments. I know that what I have accomplished has made a difference. It has inspired some, given hope to others and surprised still others who never thought I could or would write the first book – never considering all the others that have followed. Knowing the feelings of those who have read the books, hearing the feedback from them, continues to encourage me to know that I have achieved the success I had hoped for by saying “I did it!”


In 2015, my sense of “purpose” took on new meaning.

With yet another diagnosis of cancer – this one with a very poor prognosis of survival – my desire to make a difference in the lives of those I know took on a targeted purpose. That sense of purpose boosts my drive to help others. I now strive to connect groups and individuals that complement each other to achieve mutual goals. Hosting some networking events to connect business connections and authors to non-profits has been a true blessing. Seeing the progress and success of these connections has been amazing to me and made me wonder why we don’t do this sort of connecting on a routine basis. These endeavors continue to feed back to my sense of accomplishment!


My sense of accomplishment as my primary motivation to keep going, to keep doing what I love to do, certainly puts happiness in my life.

Having that sense of purpose continues to compliments my motivation to do things that make a difference – in my life and the lives of those whom I connect, guide, advise and support. It makes me want to repeat the process over and over again.


Is this sense of accomplishment and purpose enough motivation to rule one’s life?

For me, it is.  For some others, it may not be. And yet, to some extent, these motivations have guided my life in a way to acquire money and even gain a bit of fame. Going to a store or an event and be recognized as the lady on the cover of the book, again, feeds my motivation of accomplishment. I know that I did not write the book to become famous or to make a lot of money, but it is still a bonus to be recognized and receive this as acknowledgement of my accomplishment.


Love is the all elusive “what is it” that is so very hard to define.

For me, it is not just romantic in nature but a true feeling of caring and support. So to that end, my accomplishments have also given me “love.” But again, I was looking for love. It was not my motivation for writing, doing radio, or for hosting networking connections.  It has been, on occasion, a by-product that is another one of those great accomplishments I can list on my resume of life.

May we all find our true self, our true calling in this life and then use it to the best of our abilities.

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Can You Receive A Compliment Without It Getting To Your Head?



a compliment (1)

Receiving compliments gracefully isn’t as easy as it should be for some people. How about you: are YOU ready for someone to give you a pat on the back? To be pushed to doing more? To have someone give you a supporting hand? To be picked up when you fall down?

Sure, we may think that’s what we want. But is it what we need to develop, to grow, and to get better?

If someone complimented you on every little improvement you made while learning a new skill, would you not start to feel a bit marginalized? That perhaps they didn’t really think you could do it? What about when you do something that seems pretty easy and everyone made it into a big deal?


Receiving Compliments When You Are Not Ready For It

Why You Are Not Receiving Compliments

Developing new skills is never free of trouble. We all know the level of foundation that must be built to get from being a novice, before reaching greatness. In the learning process, we all know when we are in that frustrating stage of not being quite as good – but we know what we have to do to get there.

It’s in these moments that receiving compliments on your every action could minimize your efforts. That’s because if they truly knew you, people would be holding out for when you make that big, defining leap. 

As we overcome hurdles in our learning and development, friends, family members, and colleagues will know when the time is right to provide encouragement. They know that when that moment comes, those words will have the right amount of impact on you.

Think back to when you were growing up, playing some elaborate game. Perhaps you spent hours creating this game: building a fort, putting together things that the rest of your characters in the play could use. You pushed through despite the trials and problems.

It would have served absolutely no purpose for someone to congratulate you on every step (and misstep) along the way.  You would have lost your flow as you worked through the problem, constantly being interrupted – all while you were still trying to figure it out and understand where you needed to go.

Why You Are Not Receiving Compliments


When Receiving Compliments Makes You Content with Present Achievements

You might never have finished if someone patted you on the back early in that moment, content in the knowledge that you “thought up” the idea and that was enough. If everyone was saying you did great simply for thinking up something new, would it have compelled you to stop?

Maybe. Perhaps you would have stopped with that compliment.

As a parent, you learn when to encourage your children. Usually, it’s not when they show up, and not when they do what kids around them are able to do as well. It’s when they push themselves to do more. When they pick themselves up and still lose, when they try something new for the first time, fall over and fail, not sure if they should do it again.

Those are the moments when kids should be receiving compliments – NOT when they have done the same thing over and over again, or when they didn’t try their best but won anyways.

Kids know this. They can feel it when people give false compliments or encouragement because they did something they’ve always done. But when it is something meaningful, something they have worked hard for, they know the encouragement will be there to help them.

Why You Are Not Receiving Compliments

The reason you might not be receiving compliments or encouragement when you want to is because you haven’t earned them or don’t deserve them yet.

Maybe your coaches, leaders, parents, or other people who support you know you are not ready for it. Perhaps they need to see you making that next big leap in your growth and development.

Those compliments might not come today, tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year. But look at those around you – the great people you have chosen to surround yourself with – and you’ll see that they are waiting to give you that push. They are waiting for you to make it happen.

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3 Ways to Keep Going When Your Dream Falls Apart




when your dreams are falling apart (1)

I truly believe that dreams must extend beyond wishes of self-improvement; that its goal should be to contribute to the world around you.

The heart is a fickle thing. Imagine how many amazing things wouldn’t have been accomplished if great minds simply stopped when they “didn’t feel like it”.

It’s human nature. I’m sure that during the course of over 300 bank rejections, Walt Disney had days when he felt like giving up. But he didn’t. He kept going. Why? It was because his dream went far beyond himself.

Here’s how YOU can keep going – even if it feels like your dreams are falling apart.


3 Ways to Keep Going When Your Dream Falls Apart

1.) Remember The “Why”

Keep Going When Your Dream Falls Apart

Often times, I find that dreams extend far beyond the simple purpose of making one happy. For example, being a songwriter in and of itself does not make me feel happy and fulfilled. Imagine if my life’s work was to write songs that no one would ever hear. That doesn’t elicit any feelings of happiness or fulfillment (at least to me).

Seeing and hearing the healing effects that come from the songs I create for others to hear? Now you’re talking. Healing and helping others is the part of my dream that keeps it alive. It gives me purpose in this world that goes far beyond myself and my skills.

I’m reminded of the character Ebenezer Scrooge from Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”. Scrooge’s goal in life was to have money – and lots of it. He set aside love and relationships for that dream. The result of this life goal was a lonely, cold, bitter old man.

I won’t ruin the whole story for the very few of you that may not have heard it. In the end, Scrooge discovered that what brought him fulfillment and happiness were community and generosity.

So what is the “why” to your dream? How is your dream going to affect those around you? Get beyond yourself. As many have said, YOU are your biggest obstacle to success.


2.) Take Off The Rose-Colored Glasses

Keep Going When Your Dream Falls Apart

You know what I’m talking about. The “I’m going to make it big” and “I’m going to famous/rich/etc.” I hate to take a pointy realistic needle to your big ideas, but I’m doing it out of love. Here it is:

Your dream isn’t going to look exactly how you pictured it.

Take a minute to take that one in. Still here? Yes. Alive? Yes. Not Bleeding? No? Hurt a bit?

It’s OK. I know. I’ve been there. Dreams are vulnerable. We spend countless hours imagining what it would be like and how we will get there. But the truth is, in my experience, they have never turned out exactly how I have imagined. Why? We live in a world of people and circumstances that we can’t control.

Here is where the “why” comes in. The beautiful thing is that your works are a direct result of your heart’s intention…and what you put out into the world never comes back void. Here’s an example:

As a singer-songwriter, the common idea of making it big for my line of work is to have a hit song or perform in front of a sold-out crowd at Madison Square Garden (I’m more inclined towards Red Rock Amphitheatre, but you get the picture).

Let’s say that I work and strive tirelessly to do everything I need to do to reach that goal. I release a song, I tour around the US, develop a large following, get on the radio, etc. Along the way, I hear stories of how this song has impacted the people who have heard it. Stories describing how it brought healing, encouragement, and hope.

To go further, what if I never even make it that far? What if circumstances happen and I can’t tour? What if everything “falls apart”? What if I end up playing at open mics for the rest of my life? What if it doesn’t happen in the next year? Two years?

Does that change the fact that my song helped heal and open the heart of a broken and depressed Vietnam Vet? Or how it helped encourage an author to keep going and writing? Or how my song started a conversation on how to look past the labels overshadowing soldiers and their families?

It’s all about your perspective of success, my friend. To me, because my “why” and my heart’s intention are to help people, those stories above are my version of success. It’s what keeps me going. If I get to Madison Square Garden (or Red Rocks), well that’s just icing on top of the cake.

Keep going on your dream. Make a plan, and in the words of .38 Special, “Hold on loosely, but don’t let go.” Roll with the punches and understand that even greater things can come when things don’t go according to your plan.


3.) Make Your Dream Your Job

Keep Going When Your Dream Falls Apart

No, I don’t mean quit your job and have no income while you work on your dream. That’s an entirely different article (and completely up to you). I’m talking about treating your dream like it is your job.

For example, if you completely failed at a presentation at work, would you just quit and not go the next day? No! You have a livelihood and an expectation to show up. So why quit on your dream at the first sign of failure?

Treat your dream like your job. Make a plan, show up every day, and understand that it may take a while to see any results. I know many songwriters who wrote hundreds of songs before they wrote a hit. However, they never would have reached it if they didn’t take that first step, made a commitment, and wrote 100 songs first.

Dreams don’t just happen. They take work. So go get started!

My best advice under this theme is check out the book “The War of Art” by Steven Pressfield. It is by far the best resource I have discovered in my journey of living out my dream.

Here’s the deal. With every goal that I have set and achieved, I never sat at the end and thought to myself, “man, look at what I did”. Believe it or not, I was more overwhelmed with the thoughts of the journey that I had to take to get there – the good and the bad.

I would admire and laugh at the unexpected things that came. I would smile and enjoy the character it built, the person that I became in the process. In the end, the best thing about dreams and goals isn’t their achievement, but the journey that you take to get there.

Never forget that the dream in your heart was put there for a reason. You were made to make an impact on this world.

Enjoy the journey and never, ever give up. Keep going.

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