10 Types of Toxic People Who Are Crushing Your Spirit
Something I love about being an educator is how I get to reflect on the connection between children and adults. One of the biggest lessons any child can learn is to focus on who they surround themselves with. What’s even more powerful, is that as we become adults that lesson doesn’t change. Who we surround ourselves with will influence our worldview, mood, productivity, how we treat others and even how we see ourselves. This isn’t about judging people, but this is definitely about assessing the people close to us and the people we allow to have our time.
1. The Time Wasters.
How many times can you listen to the same old story? Every time you talk to this person is it like re-watching the same old episode? There are certain people in your life who just steal your time. Some of them may be family, and some of them may be friends. The key here is to find creative ways to hold onto your time and not let people you have a bond with, steal it from you. People will use up all of your time if you allow them. It’s time to take 100% personal responsibility for who you give your time to.
“Short as life is, we make it still shorter by the careless waste of time.” – Victor Hugo
2. The Criticizers.
There is a difference between fair feedback and someone just trying to rip everything you do apart. Feedback is absolutely great. It can help you grow and feedback can help you with your blind spots. It starts to get tricky when whatever we do is just not good enough for certain people in your circle. There might be some people in your life who just have nothing constructive to say. Still, even though some people close to us might be constantly criticizing us, it is still our responsibility for how we interpret it and if we allow it to get any head space.
“I pay no attention whatever to anybody’s praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings.” ― Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
3. The Victims.
Every time you talk to them it’s a new catastrophe. You want to ask them how they’re doing, but you already know. There are some people in our life who take no responsibility for their own life. They feel as if they’re constantly being cheated, beaten up and beaten down by life. Everything that’s done it just unfair and unjust. They feel as if they’re constantly getting picked on. They are masters of playing the blame game. Nothing negative that happens to them is there own making or their responsibility. People of this type can be very dangerous. Since it is only a matter of time until they pull you into their own blame game and now you’re caught up in their storm.
“A wise woman wishes to be no one’s enemy; a wise woman refuses to be anyone’s victim.” -Maya Angelou
4. The Always Negative.
You have to be very careful bringing your dreams around these people. They never have anything positive to say. They don’t encourage you and will probably try to talk you out of anything positive and exciting. But you can’t take it personally, because you know they just have a negative mindset. You don’t know where this negativity is coming from and it’s not your job to figure it out. It is, however, up to you if you allow them to have your time. If you want to have a positive life and positive experiences, then you cannot have negative people around you, it’s just that simple. Negativity is contagious don’t let it catch you.
“There will be haters, there will be doubters, there will be non-believers, and then there will be you, proving them wrong.” – Unknown
5. The Hot Heads
Lights! Camera! Over Reaction! Getting upset and acting out of character, often lead to regrets and are very unproductive. What’s even more unproductive is when you get dragged into someone else’s storm. We all have our days and we all have our moments, but emotional outbursts or are just a non-negotiable. There is no real need to have emotionally unstable people in your circle.
“Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth.” – Chuck Norris
6. The Emotionless.
It’s amazing to be around people who have compassion and empathy. Empathy is a leadership skill and also a great day-to-day skill, that will allow you to enjoy people more, have more positive interactions and feel better about life. On the contrary, when we are around people who don’t empathize, who don’t show compassion, who don’t show love, that affects our overall experience. There is just no need for this.
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.” ― Plato
7. The Liars.
This might seem like an easy one, but you might be surprised by how many of us hang out with liars. In the past, I’ve had friends who were huge liars and I just kept them as friends by habit. I was just used to having them as a friend. I soon realized that liars are the alternate time wasters and distractions in my life. On top of that, I see a liar as someone who tries to negatively alter my reality. To put it simply, if you can’t trust someone or have doubts if you can trust them, then you probably don’t need them around you.
“The liar’s punishment is, not in the least that he is not believed, but that he cannot believe anyone else.”
― George Bernard Shaw
8. The Manipulators.
These guys are almost as bad as the liars. And for the record, most of the manipulators are also gossipers. These are people who will use you in any way they can. They will tell lies and stories to scare you out of doing something that they want to do, so there is less competition. They will use you to get a date, or job, or an opportunity. They will try to get information from you and then throw it back in your face when it benefits them. They are only focused on getting what they want and will go to any stretch to get it. You do not need these people around you.
“When you get enough inner peace and feel really positive about yourself, its almost impossible for you to be controlled or manipulated by anyone else. – Wayne Dyer
9. The Intentionally Hurtful.
Have you ever had a conversation where you didn’t know if the other person was just throwing jab, after jab, after jab? Where you didn’t know if you just had a conversation or was just insulted up-and-down? There are some people, for whatever reason, where everything that comes out of their mouth is just hurtful. Where when something small happens they try to call into question your character, your integrity, and your values. These people do not serve you at all. And it’s important to know that you can’t take what they say personally even if it is personal. They might be jealous, resentful, negative and it’s not your job to figure it out. Move on!
“In life, when you encounter mean and hurtful people, treat them like sandpaper. No matter how rough they may scrub you, you end up polished and smooth.” – Nishan Panwar
10. The Always Stressed Out.
We are actually wired to be stressed. There was a time in our human history where stress allowed us to be safe, protected and alert. For many of us, those threats and dangers no longer exist. But for too many of us, we still operate at a very high-stress level. Study after study shows that stress is one of the largest factors negatively impacting our overall health. We already have a ton of stress. Whether it’s stress in the workplace, with our family, in our relationships and even with ourselves. The absolute last thing we need in our life is to be included in the stress of others. Again, we all have stress but how we manage it is what truly matters. Surround yourself with people who know how to manage their stress well.
“In times of stress, the best thing we can do for each other is to listen with our ears and our hearts and to be assured that our questions are just as important as our answers.” ― Fred Rogers
Please feel free to leave a comment below with any ideas of how we can get negative people out of our lives.