Fear of success is such a HUGE issue and I see it everyday with my clients, no matter who they are: movie stars, singers, famous athletes, football stars… it seems that we are all fundamentally flawed.
Why is it that we are so very critical of ourselves, yet we cut our friends so much slack? Why do we see the achievements of others as so much more than the very same achievement that we recently produced?
It’s a flaw around being afraid to be great.
It’s a flaw around the “possibility that you could be all of that, and then some.”
It is best echoed in the amazing words of self-help guru Marianne Williamson:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are weak. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”
So, seeing this fundamental flaw in yourself, just know that you are in very good company. It is human nature to cut yourself down, not see yourself as you truly are.
As the picture below shows, we fear that we simply are “not enough”.
I love this picture as it instills a sense that it is all right to just “be” you.
In terms of how to stop fear of success, here are my top 10 tips:
1) Cherish today.
Imagine how you would feel if this was the last day of your life and you had not lived your life to its truest and greatest potential.
Sometimes, realizing that life is not forever and could slip away at any moment is enough of a motivator to make people dive into their lives and success in a much more liberated way. Just ask someone close to death, or an elderly person, about the regrets they have in life. They will tell you they wish they had risked more. (Food for thought.)
No time like the present, since time is the only thing that you can never have more of. There’s no room for fear of success. Don’t wait to learn this lesson when it is simply too late. Learn it NOW. This moment.
2) Be done with drama.
If you have fear of success, then my next questions are:
“Why have you created success into something that overwhelms you?”
“Why do you indulge in the fear of success?”
I’ll tell you why. You won’t want to hear it though.
Because it gives you significance. Because there is a benefit to your being stressed. Because that’s how you get your attention, because that is how you value yourself. And the kicker is because you LOVE the drama of it!!
Told you that you would not like my answer!
3) Change your perspective.
So…shall we change that fear of success? How about we decide that there is no success or failure? That this paradigm does NOT exist? That you are simply having an “experience of life“?
If it is simply an experience, then it should NOT carry a charge. It just is.
4) Analyze your barometers of success.
Often we are afraid of the consequences of success, such as: more money, more people knowing who you are, not being who you were…etc…etc…
Well, if we use money as our barometer of success, money does not “make” you anything. Money simply magnifies who you are. So, if you are good, then you can do more good. Equally, if you are not good, then you will become more of that, too.
Money is energy, it is a choice. You can still be YOU and have money, or you can choose to BE someone else. IN actuality, this has nothing to do with success OR money. But it has everything to do with the choices that you are making.
5) Realize your fear of being judged.
Often, we have a fear of success because we fear “what will people think of me?” We fear being judged.
Once you realize and accept that you are being judged each and every moment of the day, then you won’t be afraid anymore, right?
People judge you, because it’s how they make sense of their world. People judge you because it’s how they understand their world. Besides, what someone else thinks of you is none of your business. People are entitled to their own thoughts and opinions and that should NOT concern you.
6) Embrace FOMO
An incredibly motivating factor to overcome the fear of success is FOMO – The fear of missing out. So, if you don’t have that success what will you miss out on, what may you never experience in your life, because you allowed the fear of success to own you?
7) Analyze what you say about yourself.
Daily consciousness practices are essential to overcoming the fear of success – read the Daily Consciousness chapter in my new book, “Life is a Choice and the Choice is Yours.” It covers the need to meditate, to affirm to have a daily practice of gratitude and attraction.
Remember: you are the words that you repeatedly say to yourself. So the question is: what do you say to yourself, when you are by yourself?
If these words are not uplifting and encouraging, then you need to re-think your inner dialogue, or get coached, get a counselor, or do some further work. It’s true: you will become the words that you repeatedly speak.
8) Alter your belief of success.
If success is something to be afraid of, then you need to see it in a totally different light. Why can’t success be fun? Why can’tsuccess be light and enjoyable? Why not a stroll in the park or an exciting adventure?
Your belief filters will determine the value and “weight” that you place on success. Luckily, with only a small amount of effort, this can be changed to make success something fun and thrilling.
9) Choose good company.
You are the average of the five people that you spend the most time with. So let’s take a look at the company that you keep. If you keep the company of successful people, then success is simply like wallpaper. It’s just the surroundings that you are used to.
If you keep the company of no-hopers, then success seems so very much further away…maybe even on a different planet. So, what sort of company do you keep?
10) Fear is NOT real!
Lastly and most importantly, fear is not even real! Most of the time, the things we fear most never happen! If you want to keep fearing success, this simply means that you are OK giving your power and energy away. I would rather keep my power and energy for myself!
I hope this article shows you just how easy it is to be successful and how awesome and amazing the experience of success is!
Scared? Who said that? Success is just a pussy cat!