Self sabotage is more common than you think.
The first step to success is getting out of your own way. Too often, we allow our insecurities and fears to dim our light – convincing ourselves that we don’t deserve to shine for one reason or another.
Follow these top tips to silence the self-doubt, drop the excuses and become your best self.
How To End Self Sabotage and Reach for Success
1) Have a Plan
You’re just winging it: everything from your fitness goals, to your career aspirations, to what you’ll have for dinner tonight or wear tomorrow. Like what I tell my clients: “When you leave your success to chance, chances are you won’t be very successful.”
End Self Sabotage: Get a journal and write your goals. Make sure they are S.M.A.R.T. and check in regularly.
2) Stick To The Program Long Enough To See Results
What you do everyday is more important than what you do every now and then. What may seem like it’ll take a lifetime to achieve might just be around the corner. But if you give up or do self sabotage, you will never know if it was just a day away.
End Self Sabotage: Don’t get overwhelmed. Do small things regularly that will lead to long-term success. Set a date to check in with yourself on your progress. Until that day, check your progress. Plan to stay consistent.
If you plan to hit the gym for three hours each week for example, you have to commit to that goal until that date in the future. Once you reach that deadline, pick another date and so on.
3) Have a Positive Attitude
Attitude is everything! A negative attitude gets in the way of not only seeing the bright side of tough situations, but also from taking leaps of faith. When you convince yourself that something is too hard or only for people smarter than you, you stop taking chances.
End Self Sabotage: Think positively and don’t beat yourself up for your shortcomings. When something bad happens, find the positive in it. You won’t win every battle, but you will learn something from each one to help you push forward.
Here’s a good example:
One of my friends lost her job and was really down because she thought her work contract was up for renewal. In the short time she worked there, she even earned a promotion. So needless to say, she was blindsided by the layoff. I told her to stay positive and assured her that a better position was right around the corner.
That layoff made her available for an even better position!
Her new office is in the city and she loves it! The new office has a great gym where she works out on lunch breaks, which frees up her time with her three young sons and her husband in the evenings. She also loves being in downtown D.C. because she can take walks, so that has made her more active.
Even with a sudden layoff, something positive came of it.
4) Connect Emotionally To The Goals You Set
Setting goals for the sake of having goals means you aren’t emotionally connected to achieving them. Without that proverbial burning desire, you tend not to take them seriously.
I see this a lot in my clients. Many of them want to lose weight – but the real goal is deeper than that, and it goes beyond their physical appearance. Once they find the emotional reason behind their fitness goals, their commitment and motivation increases.
End Self Sabotage: Go deeper when setting goals and ask yourself the tough questions.
What will losing those last 10lbs mean for your confidence? What kind of example do you want to set for your children through your dedication to your education or fitness?
What is one thing you can’t stop thinking about and what do you need to do to achieve it? What will it mean once you reach that one goal?
5) Speak In Definite Terms
“I’ll try to get a workout in this week.”
“I’m hoping to have time to meal prep this weekend.”
“I might make it to Yoga.”
Do any of these statements sounds familiar? When you speak in conditional terms, you immediately give yourself an option to fail. Conditional talk gives you a leeway by not holding you accountable to your goals.
If losing that “baby weight” is one of your goals, possibly maybe trying to see if you can go to the gym prolongs your chances of reaching that goal.
End Self Sabotage: Be definitive in your speech and commit your goals to paper.
Are you ready to end self sabotage?
Be clear on your goals. Know the reason behind them. Commit 100 percent of your energy and effort into them. Only then can you see true success for yourself.