Throughout history love has been portrayed as something people give or get. For example if you feel you have met your perfect match you might feel kind of lucky.
Or if you have the means to live a rather privileged life you might think love is on your side. Fortunately, these kinds of beliefs about love are being dispelled by modern science.
The Science Behind Loving Yourself and Others
It turns out love isn’t dependent on who you meet, what you do, or your circumstances. Love doesn’t have a beginning, middle or even an end. It simply exists no matter what. This means someone who has made some serious mistakes in their life has just as much of a chance at love as anyone else.
This may not sit well with some people as we have been conditioned to use love as if it is something to be earned or taken away. Love doesn’t work that way. In fact, when it comes to love there really is no “work” per say. It is our expectations and assumptions which give the impression of love being hard to come by.
You may be inclined to review all the people you know who have love in their life and the ways in which you don’t. Consider even if it is for a moment looking at it from a different perspective. The love you witness in others is actually a reflection of the love you have inside yourself. Many of us have trained ourselves to see it otherwise. We see close friends laughing, lovers holding hands, mothers holding their babies and we automatically direct our attention to what we believe we don’t have.
Love yourself first
Here is the thing about love, there are no have or have not’s. It just is. This is because love is a high vibrational energy. Emotions are defined as energy in motion. It turns out the less motion the energy has the more negative the feeling. Take for example the emotion of guilt. It makes you feel kind of bad and stuck inside because it is energy that is heavy and congested. When you experience love you tend to feel lighter, happier and free.
The energy of love is exactly that, light, open with lots of energy in motion. Now here is something you might not have thought of. The emotion of guilt is the same energy as love. When someone let’s go of guilt this means they are releasing the energy (giving it more movement) so that it may transform into love. Walla!
Albert Einstein taught us that energy cannot be destroyed but it can be transformed into something new. This means you can take the emotion of fear and transform it into courage and you can take the emotion of hurt and transform it into love. Where many people get hung up in the process is in their willingness to choose love. This may be because somewhere deep inside they may have a hidden belief they are not worthy of love. This happens typically on an unconscious level where someone may actually punish themselves by withholding love.
The good news is you can push love away all you want but it will never leave. This is because love is timeless, formless and infinite. Just because you can’t see, sense or feel it doesn’t mean it is not there. This may be a tough pill to swallow if you have lost a loved one. You may find comfort in knowing that love is truth. Fear, sorrow and resentment are a part of the human experience love on the other hand, is a spiritual one.
You may have heard the old saying you have to learn to love yourself before you can truly love another. Perhaps it is time for a bit of a mind shift in this area as well. Rather than spend time trying to figure out how to love yourself you are better off putting your attention into choosing to cultivate the love you already have. Otherwise, you may find yourself pursuing a path of depleting energy. For example, say you decide to go for a walk or take a yoga class. Initially you may feel uplifted but then as the day goes on this good feeling begins to dissipate (decrease the movement of energy). You have a couple of choices you can connect to the love you already have in another way or put your love on hold.
People put their love on hold in a number ways. They wait to give themselves permission to experience it. They might for example, tell themselves once they get enough money, good grades or accomplished then they will have earned their right to feel love. Love isn’t a reward, break or a sign that you are even on the right track. It just is.
Through awareness and a willingness to choose love you can command this vibration. One way to do this is through the practice of increasing and receiving energy. Think of a beautiful sunrise or sunset. It might take your breath away, get you to pause and take in (receive) the moment. You are catching a glimpse of something greater which has the capacity to connect you to all that is. This is love.
Increasing your connection to love requires presence, awareness and a willingness to see love in a new way. Love never disappeared nor did it pull away, we pulled away. As the walls, limits and conditions placed on love are surrendered love will resurface in more ways than ever. It is here now, in this exact moment allow it to touch you in some way. A soft mindful breath, smile, hug or kind gesture will bring the experience closer all you have to do is believe.